Here is one brief summary of a life's learnings:
Age 5: I learned that things are easier when someone is holding your hand.
Age 10: I learned to never blow in a cat's ear.
Age 15: I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 20: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 25: I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30: I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
Age 35: I learned that if I want to do something positive for my children, I should work to improve my marriage.
Age 40: I learned that the greater people's sense of guilt, the greater their need to blame others.
Age 45: I learned that I can never allow the disappointments of life to steal my enthusiasm.
Age 50: I learned that I can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Age 55: I learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
Age 60: I learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
Age 65: I learned that I shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. I need to be able to throw something back.
Age 70: I learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
Age 75: I learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
Age 80: I learned that even suffering has its gifts.
Age 85: I learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
Age 90: I learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
Isn't it true? If we're not learning, we're not improving. If we're not improving, we're not growing. And if we're not growing, we're not living.
Some people worry about dying. I am more concerned with living - as well and as fully as possible.
Learn - improve - grow - live. Learn as if you might live forever and you'll live as if you might die tomorrow.
-- Steve Goodier
Oct 28, 2008
Oct 27, 2008
The Law of Attraction
There is a fundamental law of attraction in the universe that guides people’s lives and is the underlying power behind all things.
This law was expressed by Napoleon Hill when he said, “We become what we think about.” This profound truth has been stated in many different languages and cultures throughout history. In the second century of the Common Era, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” This idea has been developed over time and has now become a central tenet in many spiritual traditions.
Its truth has spread to many people and has more recently been expressed in a popular quote:
Earl Nightengale has referred to the law of attraction as “The Strangest Secret”. When asked by his readers, “Why do you call it the strangest secret?” he explains that it is a secret that is really “no secret” at all. It’s not because the law of attraction is hidden from view that makes it so strange.
In fact, it isn’t hidden. It’s extremely obvious and yet nobody seems to be aware of it. “We become what we think about” is no “secret” at all and that’s what makes it so strange.
Keeping a positive attitude certainly isn’t an easy thing to do. Each day, people will tell themselves many negative things. These negative ideas will sometimes be expressed in the light of day by a seemingly happy person and yet, when we get to know the people who are thinking these ideas, we may find that they are actually quite depressed and afraid of many things. People make a lot of decisions based on these negative feelings and it isn’t always apparent how much it is affecting their lives. It will often appear to be quite bad when you take a closer look inside.
The negative tendencies that people pursue in their lives often help to confirm the initial fears that they have. They lose their jobs, their friends and their closest loved ones to problems that seem beyond their control. This seems impossible to change and yet, the law of attraction tells us something different.
People’s thoughts and decisions often promote the very kind of negative evidence that they initially set out to prove. They are the very cause of their own problems! The negative ideas that people project often function in a similar manner as a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. By focusing on the negative, the negative comes to pass. The law of attraction tells us that, whatever we give our attention to becomes our point of attraction. It becomes the thing that we magnetize into our lives. This is even true for the things we try to separate ourselves from or fight against because we find that we are still giving these “negative” things our constant attention.
Take an example. Someone decides that the worst thing in the world would be for their loved one to leave them. They worry about this day and night. It is their worst fear and they can’t get it out of their mind. As they focus on this fear, they find that they simply cannot trust the person they are with. They are constantly second guessing this person and accusing them of the fears they hold inside. Instead of showing them love and affection, they are actually driving this person away.
Getting over our fears and negative emotions can be quite a challenge when we are applying the law of attraction in our lives. In order to be successful and attract what is positive, it is helpful to see the challenges ahead. If we know what to expect in terms of the law of attraction, we will be prepared to attract only the things that are truly best for us in our lives. In this way, we will avoid the fears and confusions and find the love and understanding along the way.
This law was expressed by Napoleon Hill when he said, “We become what we think about.” This profound truth has been stated in many different languages and cultures throughout history. In the second century of the Common Era, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” This idea has been developed over time and has now become a central tenet in many spiritual traditions.
Its truth has spread to many people and has more recently been expressed in a popular quote:
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
—UNKNOWN
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
—UNKNOWN
Earl Nightengale has referred to the law of attraction as “The Strangest Secret”. When asked by his readers, “Why do you call it the strangest secret?” he explains that it is a secret that is really “no secret” at all. It’s not because the law of attraction is hidden from view that makes it so strange.
In fact, it isn’t hidden. It’s extremely obvious and yet nobody seems to be aware of it. “We become what we think about” is no “secret” at all and that’s what makes it so strange.
Keeping a positive attitude certainly isn’t an easy thing to do. Each day, people will tell themselves many negative things. These negative ideas will sometimes be expressed in the light of day by a seemingly happy person and yet, when we get to know the people who are thinking these ideas, we may find that they are actually quite depressed and afraid of many things. People make a lot of decisions based on these negative feelings and it isn’t always apparent how much it is affecting their lives. It will often appear to be quite bad when you take a closer look inside.
The negative tendencies that people pursue in their lives often help to confirm the initial fears that they have. They lose their jobs, their friends and their closest loved ones to problems that seem beyond their control. This seems impossible to change and yet, the law of attraction tells us something different.
People’s thoughts and decisions often promote the very kind of negative evidence that they initially set out to prove. They are the very cause of their own problems! The negative ideas that people project often function in a similar manner as a “self-fulfilling prophecy”. By focusing on the negative, the negative comes to pass. The law of attraction tells us that, whatever we give our attention to becomes our point of attraction. It becomes the thing that we magnetize into our lives. This is even true for the things we try to separate ourselves from or fight against because we find that we are still giving these “negative” things our constant attention.
Take an example. Someone decides that the worst thing in the world would be for their loved one to leave them. They worry about this day and night. It is their worst fear and they can’t get it out of their mind. As they focus on this fear, they find that they simply cannot trust the person they are with. They are constantly second guessing this person and accusing them of the fears they hold inside. Instead of showing them love and affection, they are actually driving this person away.
Getting over our fears and negative emotions can be quite a challenge when we are applying the law of attraction in our lives. In order to be successful and attract what is positive, it is helpful to see the challenges ahead. If we know what to expect in terms of the law of attraction, we will be prepared to attract only the things that are truly best for us in our lives. In this way, we will avoid the fears and confusions and find the love and understanding along the way.
Oct 26, 2008
Misunderstandings kill a relationship
I first read this story on Kenny's blog and it moved me to tears.
If you think this only happens on TV dramas, think again ....
人生如戏，戏如人生
Life is like a show, only that the show will go on until we leave this world.
I hope this will touch your heart and cherish your loved ones and relationships.
Read on ....
Part 1
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever.
This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX, translated by SaFe).
Cruel misunderstandings, one after another, disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intent of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment and put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her country-side habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get used to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wake up early to prepare the breakfast. In her view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example, she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in a dilemma as to who to
please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean, that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me, with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day. Mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have no appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in a daze toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the country-side. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Part 2
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death, so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.
"LD, you are pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seem so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated! Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He have forgotten that last time, I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at me and our son, his eyes teared with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.
Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tears for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that...
The computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no long has thatchance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary school, to university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on when to give what are all written on the packaging..."
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...
The End
Note: This story is originally from www.mykuaci.com
If you think this only happens on TV dramas, think again ....
人生如戏，戏如人生
Life is like a show, only that the show will go on until we leave this world.
I hope this will touch your heart and cherish your loved ones and relationships.
Read on ....
Part 1
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever.
This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX, translated by SaFe).
Cruel misunderstandings, one after another, disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intent of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment and put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her country-side habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get used to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wake up early to prepare the breakfast. In her view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example, she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in a dilemma as to who to
please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean, that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me, with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day. Mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have no appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in a daze toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the country-side. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.
Part 2
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death, so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.
"LD, you are pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seem so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.
I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated! Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He have forgotten that last time, I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at me and our son, his eyes teared with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.
Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tears for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that...
The computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no long has thatchance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary school, to university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on when to give what are all written on the packaging..."
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...
The End
Note: This story is originally from www.mykuaci.com
Motivate Yourself
How to motivate yourself:
1. Tell others what you are about to do. That will engage your ego. If you don't take action, you will feel bad because there will be a conflict between what you declared (action) and what you did (lack of action). There will be some stress involved that will help you to motivate yourself to follow through.
2. Analyze your goals. That is the basis of all motivation. If you know what is really important for you, it will be easier to start doing it. When you know you are doing something important for you - the action you take will be a reward itself and almost no motivation from the outside will be needed.
3. Plan to reward yourself for completing the task. It's easy to plan some kind of reward. This will direct your thoughts to the prize instead of keeping you focused on how the task is complicated or hard. Your positive thoughts about the prize can replace the emotions connected with the task - this is one of the most powerful motivational techniques ever known.
4. Visualise completion of the task. This will enable you to use a full power of your subconscious mind to get the job done fast and in the right way.
5. Analyze the negative consequences of not achieving the goal. People don't like to fail and lose so this can also be a source of your motivation. Works great, especially for people that are very focused on others.
6. Analyze the positive consequences of getting the job done. To be aware of all the advantages of completing the task usually means to be motivated to perform it.
7. Give it a chance for just 5 minutes. Then you can stop. Usually it's very hard to start off with the task but after you start - you will keep on going naturally.
8. Start with something simple. If you succeed with something small, it will probably encourage you to try something more complicated, etc.
9. Divide your work to small tasks that you can preform almost mechanically. Then do them anytime during the day when you get some free 5 or 10 minutes that are needed for this particular task.
10. Learn something new about the subject. The task you don't know how to perform is the easiest to be put off. While you are learning about the subject, your motivation will increase as the competence level goes up.
1. Tell others what you are about to do. That will engage your ego. If you don't take action, you will feel bad because there will be a conflict between what you declared (action) and what you did (lack of action). There will be some stress involved that will help you to motivate yourself to follow through.
2. Analyze your goals. That is the basis of all motivation. If you know what is really important for you, it will be easier to start doing it. When you know you are doing something important for you - the action you take will be a reward itself and almost no motivation from the outside will be needed.
3. Plan to reward yourself for completing the task. It's easy to plan some kind of reward. This will direct your thoughts to the prize instead of keeping you focused on how the task is complicated or hard. Your positive thoughts about the prize can replace the emotions connected with the task - this is one of the most powerful motivational techniques ever known.
4. Visualise completion of the task. This will enable you to use a full power of your subconscious mind to get the job done fast and in the right way.
5. Analyze the negative consequences of not achieving the goal. People don't like to fail and lose so this can also be a source of your motivation. Works great, especially for people that are very focused on others.
6. Analyze the positive consequences of getting the job done. To be aware of all the advantages of completing the task usually means to be motivated to perform it.
7. Give it a chance for just 5 minutes. Then you can stop. Usually it's very hard to start off with the task but after you start - you will keep on going naturally.
8. Start with something simple. If you succeed with something small, it will probably encourage you to try something more complicated, etc.
9. Divide your work to small tasks that you can preform almost mechanically. Then do them anytime during the day when you get some free 5 or 10 minutes that are needed for this particular task.
10. Learn something new about the subject. The task you don't know how to perform is the easiest to be put off. While you are learning about the subject, your motivation will increase as the competence level goes up.
Oct 12, 2008
Good Friends Are Good Medicine
Our news is constantly filled with the reality of death and dying. And each of us, if we live long enough, experiences the loss of persons we loved.
Children ages eight through ten were asked what they thought about death, and these are some of their answers:
"When you die, God takes care of you like your mother did when you were alive - only God doesn't yell at you all the time." (Beth, 9)
"When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, but your body can't go to heaven because it's too crowded up there already." (Jimmy, 8)
"Only the good people go to heaven. The other people go where it's hot all the time like in Florida." (Judy, 9)
"Maybe I'll die someday, but I hope I don't die on my birthday because it's no fun to celebrate your birthday if you're dead." (Jon, 9)
"I'm not afraid to die because I'm a Boy Scout." (Kevin, 10)
"Doctors help you so you won't die until you pay their bills." (Stephanie, 9)
I've observed that the loss of a loved one can be one of the most difficult things we humans can face. And one of our greatest needs as we experience such a loss is for simple, human comfort. I've known friends of sick and dying people to sit by a bedside or in a hospital room for hours, even days, at a time. I've sometimes heard them offer words of prayer. I've seen food in homes of people who are dying overflow from kitchen to dining room - food brought by comforting friends from church and concerned neighbors. And I've observed friends to just listen for as long as it takes. Caring friends are needed medicine in such times.
When U.S. Congressman Sam Rayburn (1882-1961) discovered that he was ill, he announced to the House of Representatives he was going back home to Bonham, Texas for medical tests. Some wondered why he did not stay in Washington D. C. where there were excellent medical facilities -- probably some of the best in the world. His answer was a beautiful tribute to friendship: "Bonham is a place where people know it when you're sick, and where they care when you die."
No one wants to go through difficult times alone. So Rayburn traded the best of medical technology for the closeness of loving friends. He knew that good friends are good medicine. Sometimes the best medicine there is.
-- Steve Goodier
Children ages eight through ten were asked what they thought about death, and these are some of their answers:
"When you die, God takes care of you like your mother did when you were alive - only God doesn't yell at you all the time." (Beth, 9)
"When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, but your body can't go to heaven because it's too crowded up there already." (Jimmy, 8)
"Only the good people go to heaven. The other people go where it's hot all the time like in Florida." (Judy, 9)
"Maybe I'll die someday, but I hope I don't die on my birthday because it's no fun to celebrate your birthday if you're dead." (Jon, 9)
"I'm not afraid to die because I'm a Boy Scout." (Kevin, 10)
"Doctors help you so you won't die until you pay their bills." (Stephanie, 9)
I've observed that the loss of a loved one can be one of the most difficult things we humans can face. And one of our greatest needs as we experience such a loss is for simple, human comfort. I've known friends of sick and dying people to sit by a bedside or in a hospital room for hours, even days, at a time. I've sometimes heard them offer words of prayer. I've seen food in homes of people who are dying overflow from kitchen to dining room - food brought by comforting friends from church and concerned neighbors. And I've observed friends to just listen for as long as it takes. Caring friends are needed medicine in such times.
When U.S. Congressman Sam Rayburn (1882-1961) discovered that he was ill, he announced to the House of Representatives he was going back home to Bonham, Texas for medical tests. Some wondered why he did not stay in Washington D. C. where there were excellent medical facilities -- probably some of the best in the world. His answer was a beautiful tribute to friendship: "Bonham is a place where people know it when you're sick, and where they care when you die."
No one wants to go through difficult times alone. So Rayburn traded the best of medical technology for the closeness of loving friends. He knew that good friends are good medicine. Sometimes the best medicine there is.
-- Steve Goodier
Oct 8, 2008
Time to Be Quiet
Popular author and speaker Ken Blanchard sometimes tells a powerful story about Red, a corporate president who, as a young man, learned an important and life-changing lesson. Red had just graduated from college and was offered an opportunity to interview for a position with a firm in New York City. As the job involved moving his wife and small child from Texas to New York, he wanted to talk the decision over with someone before accepting it, but his father had died and Red did not feel he had anybody to turn to. On impulse, he telephoned an old friend of the family; someone his father had suggested he turn to if he ever needed good advice.
The friend said he would be happy to give Red advice about the job offer under the condition that the young man takes whatever advice he was given. "You might want to think about that for a couple of days before hearing my suggestion," he was told.
Two days later Red called the man back and said he was ready to listen to his counsel. "Go on to New York City and have the interview," the older man said. "But I want you to go up there in a very special way. I want you to go on a train and I want you to get a private compartment. Don't take anything to write with, anything to listen to or anything to read, and don't talk to anybody except to put in your order for dinner with the porter. When you get to New York call me and I will tell you what to do next."
Red followed the advice precisely. The trip took two days. As he had brought along nothing to do and kept entirely to himself, he quickly became bored. It soon dawned on him what was happening. He was being forced into quiet time. He could do nothing but think and meditate. About three hours outside New York City he broke the rules and asked for a pencil and paper. Until the train stopped, he wrote -- the culmination of all his meditation.
Red called the family friend from the train station. "I know what you wanted," he said. "You wanted me to think. And now I know what to do. I don't need anymore help."
"I didn't think you would, Red," came the reply. "Good luck."
Sorry, I don't know if he took the job or not. But Blanchard reports that, years later, Red headed a corporation in California. And he always made it a policy to take a couple of days to be alone. He went where there was no phone, no television, no distractions and no people. He went to be alone, to meditate and to listen.
The French writer and Nobel Prize winner André Gide reminds us to "be faithful to that which exists within yourself." But how can we be faithful when we don't really know what is inside?
The answer for me is to be quiet. To still my mind...and to listen.
I'll soon know what to do.
-- Steve Goodier
The friend said he would be happy to give Red advice about the job offer under the condition that the young man takes whatever advice he was given. "You might want to think about that for a couple of days before hearing my suggestion," he was told.
Two days later Red called the man back and said he was ready to listen to his counsel. "Go on to New York City and have the interview," the older man said. "But I want you to go up there in a very special way. I want you to go on a train and I want you to get a private compartment. Don't take anything to write with, anything to listen to or anything to read, and don't talk to anybody except to put in your order for dinner with the porter. When you get to New York call me and I will tell you what to do next."
Red followed the advice precisely. The trip took two days. As he had brought along nothing to do and kept entirely to himself, he quickly became bored. It soon dawned on him what was happening. He was being forced into quiet time. He could do nothing but think and meditate. About three hours outside New York City he broke the rules and asked for a pencil and paper. Until the train stopped, he wrote -- the culmination of all his meditation.
Red called the family friend from the train station. "I know what you wanted," he said. "You wanted me to think. And now I know what to do. I don't need anymore help."
"I didn't think you would, Red," came the reply. "Good luck."
Sorry, I don't know if he took the job or not. But Blanchard reports that, years later, Red headed a corporation in California. And he always made it a policy to take a couple of days to be alone. He went where there was no phone, no television, no distractions and no people. He went to be alone, to meditate and to listen.
The French writer and Nobel Prize winner André Gide reminds us to "be faithful to that which exists within yourself." But how can we be faithful when we don't really know what is inside?
The answer for me is to be quiet. To still my mind...and to listen.
I'll soon know what to do.
-- Steve Goodier
Oct 4, 2008
Bringing Harmony to Discord
I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed personality "testing" and were discussing some differences that had frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those differences for them.
"You are sensitive," I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively. "You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you that you don't have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often in order to keep the peace." He agreed.
"You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife's hand for no reason at all." He smiled and nodded.
"And you remember birthdays and special days - these are important to you." He continued to smile and nod.
"And you particularly appreciate it when she says, 'I love you.' In fact, you need her to say that at least once a day."
"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.
Then I spoke to her. "And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you tend to be more rational and logical." She smiled and nodded.
"You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and may sometimes be too blunt with him." They both agreed.
"You like affection, but you don't require it like he does. If you hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you." She continued to nod.
"And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In fact, you have to remember to say, 'I love you' to him, not because you don't love him, but because saying it is just something you don't think about often." She agreed, looking at her husband.
"Saying words like 'I love you' does not mean the same thing to you as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into his eyes when you got married and said, 'I love you' and figured that, if you ever change your mind, you'll let him know."
"EXACTLY!" she exclaimed, with a smile.
They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.
They found harmony where there used to be discord.
We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.
-- Steve Goodier
"You are sensitive," I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively. "You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you that you don't have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often in order to keep the peace." He agreed.
"You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife's hand for no reason at all." He smiled and nodded.
"And you remember birthdays and special days - these are important to you." He continued to smile and nod.
"And you particularly appreciate it when she says, 'I love you.' In fact, you need her to say that at least once a day."
"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.
Then I spoke to her. "And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you tend to be more rational and logical." She smiled and nodded.
"You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and may sometimes be too blunt with him." They both agreed.
"You like affection, but you don't require it like he does. If you hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you." She continued to nod.
"And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In fact, you have to remember to say, 'I love you' to him, not because you don't love him, but because saying it is just something you don't think about often." She agreed, looking at her husband.
"Saying words like 'I love you' does not mean the same thing to you as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into his eyes when you got married and said, 'I love you' and figured that, if you ever change your mind, you'll let him know."
"EXACTLY!" she exclaimed, with a smile.
They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.
They found harmony where there used to be discord.
We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.
-- Steve Goodier
Sep 6, 2008
Unstoppable
When a group of two hundred executives were asked what makes a person successful, eighty percent listed enthusiasm as the most important quality. More important than skill. More important than training. Even more important than experience.
Before water will produce enough steam to power an engine, it must boil. The steam engine won't move a train an inch until the steam gauge registers 212 degrees. Likewise, the person without enthusiasm is trying to move the machinery of life with lukewarm water. Only one thing will happen: that person will stall.
A. B. Zu Tavern asserts that enthusiasm is electricity in the battery. It's the vigor in the air. It's the warmth in the fire. It's the breath in all things alive. Successful people are enthusiastic about what they do. "Good work is never done in cold blood," he says, "Heat is needed to forge anything. Every great achievement is the
story of a flaming heart."
You may have all of the skill, training and experience you've ever need. Add enthusiasm to those assets and you will be truly unstoppable!
-- Steve Goodier
Before water will produce enough steam to power an engine, it must boil. The steam engine won't move a train an inch until the steam gauge registers 212 degrees. Likewise, the person without enthusiasm is trying to move the machinery of life with lukewarm water. Only one thing will happen: that person will stall.
A. B. Zu Tavern asserts that enthusiasm is electricity in the battery. It's the vigor in the air. It's the warmth in the fire. It's the breath in all things alive. Successful people are enthusiastic about what they do. "Good work is never done in cold blood," he says, "Heat is needed to forge anything. Every great achievement is the
story of a flaming heart."
You may have all of the skill, training and experience you've ever need. Add enthusiasm to those assets and you will be truly unstoppable!
-- Steve Goodier
Sep 4, 2008
Google Chrome - New open source browser by Google
On 2 Sep 2008, Google announces their new open source browser, Google Chrome.
And i must say at first glance and use, "Wow! Not bad sia"
I'm using mainly Firefox, sometimes Microsoft Internet Explorer and also tried Safari, too. But Google Chrome really takes my breath away literally.
I salute the team at Google! Inc, they always managed to come up with new innovations and surprises. And best of all, it is open source, that means software/web developers can use the browser source code to design websites/applications, all up to their imagination and creativity.
Learn more about the story behind Google Chrome and the technology in their comic book.
This is just the beginning of Google Chrome and we can expect more improvements along the way as more users adopt the new browser. Best is to try it yourself, download it and test as much as you like.
Lastly ... Of course, I'm posting this using Google Chrome! Hee hee ;)
Sep 1, 2008
Be thankful for what you have
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind.
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have.
Invite others towards good with wisdom.
Great men say, "Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling.
He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."
There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by.
He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.
He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.
He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up.
A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.
That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were.
The boy recognized his footsteps and asked,"Were you the one! who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind.
But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.
The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind.
Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have.
Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
Invite others towards good with wisdom.
Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Great men say, "Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.
In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience."
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling.
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!
Moments to Remember
Have you ever noticed that you do not remember days, you remember moments?
A strange story about immortalizing moments comes from the book SPIRITUAL LITERACY (Touchstone Books) by authors Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. It is about a Brooklyn cigar store manager named Oggie Rand. Oggie has an unusual habit -- at precisely eight o'clock each morning, he photographs the front of the store. Always at exactly the same time and from exactly the same spot. Every morning. Oggie collects his daily snapshots in photograph albums, each labeled by date. He calls his project his "life's work."
One day Oggie showed his albums to a friend. He had not told his friend about his unusual hobby. Flipping the pages of the albums, the man noticed in amazement that the pictures were all the same.
Oggie watched him skim through the pictures and finally replied, "You'll never get it if you don't slow down, my friend. The pictures are all of the same spot, but each one is different from every other one. The differences are in the detail. In the way people's clothes change according to season and weather. In the way the light hits the street. Some days the corner is almost empty. Other times it is filled with people, bikes, cars and trucks. It's just one little part of the world, but things take place there, too, just like everywhere else."
This time Oggie's friend looked more carefully at each picture. No two were alike. Every picture was unique, just as every moment is unique. Through a series of photographs, he became conscious of one of life's great truths -- that each minute that passes is special, even sacred.
I'm reminded of something writer Henry Miller said, "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." And those are the moments we'll remember; the ones for which we stopped everything else long enough to pay close attention.
The advice for me is this: to pay as close attention to each moment as I can, as if I were carefully observing a series of snapshots. I would like to take time to study the moments. If I look closely enough, I know I'll see that each is unique. Each is sacred. And each holds a special place in time.
I suspect it will be these moments -- not whole days, weeks, months or years -- that I will finally remember. And much of the happiness and joy I will find in life will be because I took care of the moments.
-- Steve Goodier
A strange story about immortalizing moments comes from the book SPIRITUAL LITERACY (Touchstone Books) by authors Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. It is about a Brooklyn cigar store manager named Oggie Rand. Oggie has an unusual habit -- at precisely eight o'clock each morning, he photographs the front of the store. Always at exactly the same time and from exactly the same spot. Every morning. Oggie collects his daily snapshots in photograph albums, each labeled by date. He calls his project his "life's work."
One day Oggie showed his albums to a friend. He had not told his friend about his unusual hobby. Flipping the pages of the albums, the man noticed in amazement that the pictures were all the same.
Oggie watched him skim through the pictures and finally replied, "You'll never get it if you don't slow down, my friend. The pictures are all of the same spot, but each one is different from every other one. The differences are in the detail. In the way people's clothes change according to season and weather. In the way the light hits the street. Some days the corner is almost empty. Other times it is filled with people, bikes, cars and trucks. It's just one little part of the world, but things take place there, too, just like everywhere else."
This time Oggie's friend looked more carefully at each picture. No two were alike. Every picture was unique, just as every moment is unique. Through a series of photographs, he became conscious of one of life's great truths -- that each minute that passes is special, even sacred.
I'm reminded of something writer Henry Miller said, "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." And those are the moments we'll remember; the ones for which we stopped everything else long enough to pay close attention.
The advice for me is this: to pay as close attention to each moment as I can, as if I were carefully observing a series of snapshots. I would like to take time to study the moments. If I look closely enough, I know I'll see that each is unique. Each is sacred. And each holds a special place in time.
I suspect it will be these moments -- not whole days, weeks, months or years -- that I will finally remember. And much of the happiness and joy I will find in life will be because I took care of the moments.
-- Steve Goodier
Aug 19, 2008
Dreams of Flying
Dreams of Flying by Jan von Holleben
Crossing the desert on the back of a dog, or searching for lost treasures on the bottom of the ocean. Jan von Holleben’s photographs make nostalgic dreams come true.
Jan brings the influences of his parents – a cinematographer and child therapist – to his work. His focus on the visual representation of childhood, 'Child-History' and concepts of 'Playing', come from his teacher training course and he combines these theories with his personal experience and childhood memories. Inspired by classic childhood books as well as modern superheroes, he produces ‘Dreams of Flying’ since 2002 with children from his local neighbourhood in South West Germany – ongoing!
Click here to view them
Crossing the desert on the back of a dog, or searching for lost treasures on the bottom of the ocean. Jan von Holleben’s photographs make nostalgic dreams come true.
Jan brings the influences of his parents – a cinematographer and child therapist – to his work. His focus on the visual representation of childhood, 'Child-History' and concepts of 'Playing', come from his teacher training course and he combines these theories with his personal experience and childhood memories. Inspired by classic childhood books as well as modern superheroes, he produces ‘Dreams of Flying’ since 2002 with children from his local neighbourhood in South West Germany – ongoing!
Click here to view them
Counting Marbles
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind. He sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business.
He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say. "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well, but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital," he continued. "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities. And that's when he began to explain his theory of 'a thousand marbles.'"
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."
"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part."
"It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on. "And by that time, I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So, I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear."
"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."
"Now, let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday, I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."
"It was nice to meet you, Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75-year-old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon, honey. I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special. It's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles!"
--Unknown
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind. He sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business.
He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say. "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well, but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital," he continued. "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities. And that's when he began to explain his theory of 'a thousand marbles.'"
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."
"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part."
"It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on. "And by that time, I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So, I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear."
"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."
"Now, let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday, I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."
"It was nice to meet you, Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75-year-old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon, honey. I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special. It's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles!"
--Unknown
Getting Ready for Tomorrow
You heard about the sign posted on a rancher's fence? On the other side of the fence resides the biggest, meanest looking bull you can imagine. The sign is intended to strike fear into the hearts of would-be trespassers. It reads: "Don't attempt to cross this field unless you can do it in 9.9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10 flat!"
Don't try to cross that field unless you are prepared! And isn't that the way it is in life? We have to be ready when the opportunity arises or else we will have little chance of success.
Sixth-grade schoolteacher Ms. Shelton believed in readiness. Students remember how she walked in on the first day of class and began writing words of an eighth-grade caliber on the chalkboard. They quickly protested that the words were not on their level and they couldn't learn them.
Their teacher insisted that the students could and would learn these words. She said that she would never teach down to them. Ms. Shelton ended by saying that one of the students in that classroom could go on to greatness, maybe even be president some day, and she wanted to prepare them for that day.
Ms. Shelton spoke those words many years ago. Little did she know that someday one of her students - Jesse Jackson - would take them seriously ("Leadership," Summer 1992). She believed that if they were well prepared, they could achieve high goals.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "People only see what they are prepared to see." If that's true, then it is also true that they only become what they are prepared to become. And a lot of life is just about getting ready.
"I want to be doing something more significant with my life than what I am doing now," a young man once said to me. He felt like what he was doing was just not that important. Other people have said things to me such as, "I only wish I had a meaningful relationship." And, "I'd really like to get a better job, but I just don't see how."
You fill in the blanks. What is it you would like to happen that isn't happening? Perhaps the answer is that you are not yet ready. Maybe you need more time to prepare before you are truly ready for that which you desire.
Think of today as another chance to prepare yourself for that exciting future you are looking for. Today is not wasted. If you desire more from life, then you can use today as training. For you will experience only what you are prepared to experience. Something wonderful can happen. And you can use today to get ready for tomorrow.
-- Steve Goodier
Don't try to cross that field unless you are prepared! And isn't that the way it is in life? We have to be ready when the opportunity arises or else we will have little chance of success.
Sixth-grade schoolteacher Ms. Shelton believed in readiness. Students remember how she walked in on the first day of class and began writing words of an eighth-grade caliber on the chalkboard. They quickly protested that the words were not on their level and they couldn't learn them.
Their teacher insisted that the students could and would learn these words. She said that she would never teach down to them. Ms. Shelton ended by saying that one of the students in that classroom could go on to greatness, maybe even be president some day, and she wanted to prepare them for that day.
Ms. Shelton spoke those words many years ago. Little did she know that someday one of her students - Jesse Jackson - would take them seriously ("Leadership," Summer 1992). She believed that if they were well prepared, they could achieve high goals.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "People only see what they are prepared to see." If that's true, then it is also true that they only become what they are prepared to become. And a lot of life is just about getting ready.
"I want to be doing something more significant with my life than what I am doing now," a young man once said to me. He felt like what he was doing was just not that important. Other people have said things to me such as, "I only wish I had a meaningful relationship." And, "I'd really like to get a better job, but I just don't see how."
You fill in the blanks. What is it you would like to happen that isn't happening? Perhaps the answer is that you are not yet ready. Maybe you need more time to prepare before you are truly ready for that which you desire.
Think of today as another chance to prepare yourself for that exciting future you are looking for. Today is not wasted. If you desire more from life, then you can use today as training. For you will experience only what you are prepared to experience. Something wonderful can happen. And you can use today to get ready for tomorrow.
-- Steve Goodier
Aug 12, 2008
Put Your Behind in Your Past
I like what Miguel de Cervantes, the author of DON QUIXOTE, said, "Love not what you are, but what you may become." There is hope that I can always change for the better. I can become more self confident, more in charge of my life, healthier, happier -- you get the idea. And there is hope that I can change a situation -- like finding a new career or going after a new life-style.
If you're like me, making any big changes can be scary. We will have to COMMIT. And we may have to take a risk.
Let me illustrate what I mean:
Consider a performer on a trapeze. She swings back and forth. And then she encounters another trapeze bar. It is swinging toward her and it is empty. Now she has a decision to make. She may continue to hang onto her present bar, or let go and grasp the new one. But she can't do both! She can't hang onto the old and grasp the new with her other hand. She HAS to decide which she wants.
If she chooses to let go of the past and grasp the future, she finds herself suspended for a moment in mid-air. Scary! It's too late to go back and she has not yet latched onto the other bar. She is vulnerable and at risk. But she has decided to take that risk in order to move forward.
Life is like that. Sometimes you have let go of something if you want to latch onto something else. Maybe you will need to let go of an old job in order to take a new one. Or you may have to let go of an old relationship before fitting a new one into your life. You have to let go of other priorities on your time or money before grasping that new opportunity.
And for a while you may feel suspended in mid-air. You've committed to something new and let go of the past, but you have not yet grasped what is ahead. You feel vulnerable and you may be frightened. But you know that the only way you can reach the new "bar" is to let go of the old one.
But like Pumba (from "The Lion King") says, "Ya gotta put your behind in your past." Then you're ready for whatever comes next.
-- Steve Goodier
If you're like me, making any big changes can be scary. We will have to COMMIT. And we may have to take a risk.
Let me illustrate what I mean:
Consider a performer on a trapeze. She swings back and forth. And then she encounters another trapeze bar. It is swinging toward her and it is empty. Now she has a decision to make. She may continue to hang onto her present bar, or let go and grasp the new one. But she can't do both! She can't hang onto the old and grasp the new with her other hand. She HAS to decide which she wants.
If she chooses to let go of the past and grasp the future, she finds herself suspended for a moment in mid-air. Scary! It's too late to go back and she has not yet latched onto the other bar. She is vulnerable and at risk. But she has decided to take that risk in order to move forward.
Life is like that. Sometimes you have let go of something if you want to latch onto something else. Maybe you will need to let go of an old job in order to take a new one. Or you may have to let go of an old relationship before fitting a new one into your life. You have to let go of other priorities on your time or money before grasping that new opportunity.
And for a while you may feel suspended in mid-air. You've committed to something new and let go of the past, but you have not yet grasped what is ahead. You feel vulnerable and you may be frightened. But you know that the only way you can reach the new "bar" is to let go of the old one.
But like Pumba (from "The Lion King") says, "Ya gotta put your behind in your past." Then you're ready for whatever comes next.
-- Steve Goodier
Father Forgets
Father Forgets
by W. Livingston Larned
Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily, I came to your bedside.
There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
by W. Livingston Larned
Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily, I came to your bedside.
There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
Aug 11, 2008
Happy 43rd Birthday to Singapore - National Day Parade Preview 2008
Here are some photos that i took during the Preview on 2 Aug 2008
View of the stage, floating platform
Red Lions coming in to land and the performance on the waterfront
Contigents forming up outside, preparing to march in
Parade formed up and ready for inspection, Sir
Singapore Flag Flypast
The Finale - Fireworks
Cheers to Singapore
Jul 27, 2008
Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
"Almost all of us have childhood dreams; for example, being an astronaut, or making movies or video games for a living. Sadly, most people don’t achieve theirs, and I think that’s a shame. I had several specific childhood dreams, and I’ve actually achieved most of them. More importantly, I have found ways, in particular the creation (with Don Marinelli), of CMU’s Entertainment Technology Center of helping many young people actually *achieve* their childhood dreams."
- Randy Pausch
With equal parts humor and heart, Carnegie Mellon professor and alumnus Randy Pausch delivered a one-of-a-kind last lecture that moved an overflow crowd at the university — and went on to move audiences around the globe.
Randy died July 25 of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47.
Watch online or order a DVD
- Randy Pausch
With equal parts humor and heart, Carnegie Mellon professor and alumnus Randy Pausch delivered a one-of-a-kind last lecture that moved an overflow crowd at the university — and went on to move audiences around the globe.
Randy died July 25 of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47.
Watch online or order a DVD
Jul 26, 2008
Inspirational Story - Steve Wozniak
Steve Wozniak’s first big goal wasn’t big by today’s standards. All he wanted was his own computer.
But Steve was in high school when he had that big goal, and it was the 1960’s. His dad scoffed at Steve’s goal. A computer cost as much as a downpayment on a house, Steve’s dad said. Steve was undaunted. He said, “Then I’ll live in an apartment.”
By the time he reached his 20’s, Steve still hadn’t reached his goal. By then, he was a shy young man working at Hewlett-Packard. He still didn’t have enough money for a computer.
He had the skills to build one (he was an engineer and had had an aptitude for tinkering with electronics since he was a kid). But even though he had the skills, he didn’t have the money for parts.
So Steve designed computers on paper.
Finally, though, prices came down enough so he could move his ideas from paper to reality. He built a small computer, and since he couldn’t afford a display (what we now call a monitor), he used his TV.
At the time, a computer small enough to fit on a desk was a novelty. His peers were fascinated. One of his friends, Steve Jobs, suggested they build a PC board, a device that allowed others to build their own small computer.
Steve then went to his bosses at Hewlett-Packard and suggested the company build a small computer that worked with a home TV. The company rejected the idea.
So Steve and Steve decided to go out on their own. Jobs sold a van and Steve Wozniak sold his prized calculator , and they used the few hundred dollars they raised to finance their computer company, which they called Apple Computer. Their first computer was Apple I.
With the bank account nearly dry, Steve and Steve got 30 days credits on parts and then went into overdrive. They subcontracted the basic manufacturing, but then they had to do all the quality testing, which they did in Steve Jobs’ garage.
From these meager beginnings, Apple Computer was born. In 1980, the company went public, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Steve turned his little idea into a big success. That’s being bodacious.
If you have an idea, what are you waiting for?
But Steve was in high school when he had that big goal, and it was the 1960’s. His dad scoffed at Steve’s goal. A computer cost as much as a downpayment on a house, Steve’s dad said. Steve was undaunted. He said, “Then I’ll live in an apartment.”
By the time he reached his 20’s, Steve still hadn’t reached his goal. By then, he was a shy young man working at Hewlett-Packard. He still didn’t have enough money for a computer.
He had the skills to build one (he was an engineer and had had an aptitude for tinkering with electronics since he was a kid). But even though he had the skills, he didn’t have the money for parts.
So Steve designed computers on paper.
Finally, though, prices came down enough so he could move his ideas from paper to reality. He built a small computer, and since he couldn’t afford a display (what we now call a monitor), he used his TV.
At the time, a computer small enough to fit on a desk was a novelty. His peers were fascinated. One of his friends, Steve Jobs, suggested they build a PC board, a device that allowed others to build their own small computer.
Steve then went to his bosses at Hewlett-Packard and suggested the company build a small computer that worked with a home TV. The company rejected the idea.
So Steve and Steve decided to go out on their own. Jobs sold a van and Steve Wozniak sold his prized calculator , and they used the few hundred dollars they raised to finance their computer company, which they called Apple Computer. Their first computer was Apple I.
With the bank account nearly dry, Steve and Steve got 30 days credits on parts and then went into overdrive. They subcontracted the basic manufacturing, but then they had to do all the quality testing, which they did in Steve Jobs’ garage.
From these meager beginnings, Apple Computer was born. In 1980, the company went public, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Steve turned his little idea into a big success. That’s being bodacious.
If you have an idea, what are you waiting for?
Jul 23, 2008
Everything Counts
Early 20th Century African-American poet Countee Cullen spent the summer of his eighth year in Baltimore, Maryland. Shortly after he arrived he noticed a little white boy staring at him. Countee smiled, but the little boy did not smile back. Instead, he stuck out his tongue and called him a hurtful, racial slur.
Cullen later wrote a poem that included his recollection of the summer when he was eight. In it, he says this:
"I saw the whole of Baltimore
from May until September.
Of everything that happened there
that's all I can remember."
The white child likely soon forgot the episode. And he probably never was aware of the pain he inflicted on the young stranger. But the truth is... everything counts. EVERYTHING. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.
Educator and writer Leo Buscaglia put it like this: "The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt."
How truly amazing life can be when we know that... EVERYTHING COUNTS.
-- Steve Goodier
Cullen later wrote a poem that included his recollection of the summer when he was eight. In it, he says this:
"I saw the whole of Baltimore
from May until September.
Of everything that happened there
that's all I can remember."
The white child likely soon forgot the episode. And he probably never was aware of the pain he inflicted on the young stranger. But the truth is... everything counts. EVERYTHING. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.
Educator and writer Leo Buscaglia put it like this: "The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt."
How truly amazing life can be when we know that... EVERYTHING COUNTS.
-- Steve Goodier
Jul 20, 2008
The Way We See It
The eye doctor instructed her patient to read a chart on the wall. He looked at it and read, "A, B, F, N, L and G."
The doctor turned the light back on and wrote in her notebook.
"How'd I do, Doc?" the patient wondered.
She replied, "Let's put it this way -- they're numbers."
"But Doc," he argued, "this is the way I see it!"
Much of my happiness or unhappiness is a result of my perception. "This is the way I see it," I tell myself.
I see some problems as challenges that energize me to action and others as obstacles that stop further progress. It's just the way I see it.
And sometimes I see new situations as fun, and other times I see them as fearful.
The busyness of my life can be OK if I see it that way, or it can be a major source of stress. And an unexpected intrusion in my schedule can be an irritant or, if I see it that way, possibly the most important thing I could do that day.
Even an embarrassing mistake can be the beginning of a new learning or an occasion to berate myself. It's in the way I see it.
One of the greatest blocks to my happiness is forgetting that it is not always about what is happening to me -- it's more about the way I see it.
Like Marcel Proust said, "The real voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." It's in the way we see it.
-- Steve Goodier
The doctor turned the light back on and wrote in her notebook.
"How'd I do, Doc?" the patient wondered.
She replied, "Let's put it this way -- they're numbers."
"But Doc," he argued, "this is the way I see it!"
Much of my happiness or unhappiness is a result of my perception. "This is the way I see it," I tell myself.
I see some problems as challenges that energize me to action and others as obstacles that stop further progress. It's just the way I see it.
And sometimes I see new situations as fun, and other times I see them as fearful.
The busyness of my life can be OK if I see it that way, or it can be a major source of stress. And an unexpected intrusion in my schedule can be an irritant or, if I see it that way, possibly the most important thing I could do that day.
Even an embarrassing mistake can be the beginning of a new learning or an occasion to berate myself. It's in the way I see it.
One of the greatest blocks to my happiness is forgetting that it is not always about what is happening to me -- it's more about the way I see it.
Like Marcel Proust said, "The real voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." It's in the way we see it.
-- Steve Goodier
Jul 18, 2008
Free Hugs
"Do you want a hug?" the young man asked Ginny.
He held a sign in his hand that said "Free Hugs." I looked around. There were other people with him. They held their handmade signs high. The message was the same on all of them: "Free Hugs!"
"Sure!" Ginny smiled and walked up to him. She reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down to her level, and hugged him with all the love she had in her heart.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "That was the best hug I've had all day!"
"I'm a hugger," Ginny smiled at him.
He looked at me. "How about a hug?"
"You got it!" I walked into his open arms. We held briefly and parted.
A young lady walked up and hugged Ginny. She turned to me, opened her arms, and hugged me too.
Ginny and I stepped back and watched the "free huggers" work their magic with those who accepted them. They offered hugs to anyone and everyone.
---
Juan Mann returned to Sydney, Australia in 2004, after living in Europe for several years. He was depressed over his parent's divorce. Most of his friends had moved on. It was just him. He sat for months.
Alone and depressed, Juan decided to make a difference and reach out. He made a sign that read, "Free Hugs," and stood at the Pitt Street Mall, one of the busiest streets in the center of Sydney. He put his arms around anyone who accepted his offer.
At first, he left his wallet at home, had a friend watch over him, and expected to be ridiculed. After fifteen minutes, a woman approached him.
"My dog died today," she said. "It's also the first anniversary of my only daughter's death. I could use a hug."
Juan was quoted as saying, "That first woman, it was more than a hug. It meant something to her."
Others joined Mann. They opened their arms to others. His message spread across the city. Afraid of lawsuits, officials banned the free hug movement, but the people protested and more than 10,000 people signed a petition to allow him to continue his mission.
Shimon Moore, the lead singer of "The Sick Puppies" happened to see Juan. They hugged and became friends. Moore borrowed a video camera and filmed Juan giving hugs. When Mann's grandmother died, Moore put the video together with his band's song called, All the Same, and posted the video on YouTube with the following caption:
"Sometimes a hug is all we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, a man whose sole purpose mission was to reach out and hug a stranger, to brighten up their lives."
The video was a hit. It spread around the world. Juan has appeared on Oprah and several other major television shows. His idea continues to gain support and grow.
After his first day on Pitt Street, Juan wondered if others were doing the same. He found Amma, The Hugging Saint of India. Jason Hunter in Atlanta, Georgia, and Jayson Littman in New York.
Jayson started his hugging campaign the same year as Juan. They both felt a need to reach out to humanity. A financial analyst in Manhattan, Jayson believed New Yorkers could use a hug. From 2004 to 2006, he spent one weekend afternoon a month holding his "Free Hugs" sign in his hands and opened his arms to anyone who needed human comfort.
Since then, Jayson's mission has been taken over by others who believe. Hugs for all!
On the last Saturday afternoon of the month, you'll find them gathered in Union Square in Lower Manhattan. They hold their signs high and offer their open arms to all who need a human touch.
---
The huggers worked the crowd. Most people ignored them or shook their heads to indicate they were not interested. Those who opened their arms in return, walked away with a smile on their face.
I felt a warmth, a glow, fill my heart. Ginny and I were going through rough times. Money was scarce, bill collectors called on a regular basis. We were stressed and worried, but on that afternoon, for a brief moment, it was all forgotten.
It took a simple hug to make everything better.
--Michael T. Smith
He held a sign in his hand that said "Free Hugs." I looked around. There were other people with him. They held their handmade signs high. The message was the same on all of them: "Free Hugs!"
"Sure!" Ginny smiled and walked up to him. She reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down to her level, and hugged him with all the love she had in her heart.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "That was the best hug I've had all day!"
"I'm a hugger," Ginny smiled at him.
He looked at me. "How about a hug?"
"You got it!" I walked into his open arms. We held briefly and parted.
A young lady walked up and hugged Ginny. She turned to me, opened her arms, and hugged me too.
Ginny and I stepped back and watched the "free huggers" work their magic with those who accepted them. They offered hugs to anyone and everyone.
---
Juan Mann returned to Sydney, Australia in 2004, after living in Europe for several years. He was depressed over his parent's divorce. Most of his friends had moved on. It was just him. He sat for months.
Alone and depressed, Juan decided to make a difference and reach out. He made a sign that read, "Free Hugs," and stood at the Pitt Street Mall, one of the busiest streets in the center of Sydney. He put his arms around anyone who accepted his offer.
At first, he left his wallet at home, had a friend watch over him, and expected to be ridiculed. After fifteen minutes, a woman approached him.
"My dog died today," she said. "It's also the first anniversary of my only daughter's death. I could use a hug."
Juan was quoted as saying, "That first woman, it was more than a hug. It meant something to her."
Others joined Mann. They opened their arms to others. His message spread across the city. Afraid of lawsuits, officials banned the free hug movement, but the people protested and more than 10,000 people signed a petition to allow him to continue his mission.
Shimon Moore, the lead singer of "The Sick Puppies" happened to see Juan. They hugged and became friends. Moore borrowed a video camera and filmed Juan giving hugs. When Mann's grandmother died, Moore put the video together with his band's song called, All the Same, and posted the video on YouTube with the following caption:
"Sometimes a hug is all we need. Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, a man whose sole purpose mission was to reach out and hug a stranger, to brighten up their lives."
The video was a hit. It spread around the world. Juan has appeared on Oprah and several other major television shows. His idea continues to gain support and grow.
After his first day on Pitt Street, Juan wondered if others were doing the same. He found Amma, The Hugging Saint of India. Jason Hunter in Atlanta, Georgia, and Jayson Littman in New York.
Jayson started his hugging campaign the same year as Juan. They both felt a need to reach out to humanity. A financial analyst in Manhattan, Jayson believed New Yorkers could use a hug. From 2004 to 2006, he spent one weekend afternoon a month holding his "Free Hugs" sign in his hands and opened his arms to anyone who needed human comfort.
Since then, Jayson's mission has been taken over by others who believe. Hugs for all!
On the last Saturday afternoon of the month, you'll find them gathered in Union Square in Lower Manhattan. They hold their signs high and offer their open arms to all who need a human touch.
---
The huggers worked the crowd. Most people ignored them or shook their heads to indicate they were not interested. Those who opened their arms in return, walked away with a smile on their face.
I felt a warmth, a glow, fill my heart. Ginny and I were going through rough times. Money was scarce, bill collectors called on a regular basis. We were stressed and worried, but on that afternoon, for a brief moment, it was all forgotten.
It took a simple hug to make everything better.
--Michael T. Smith
Jul 6, 2008
Awaken to A Beautiful New Day
Awaken
by Ralph S. Marston, Jr.
In your life
A new day is dawning
Awaken and touch the beauty
Wherever you've come from
Whatever you've been
New possibilities beckon
Right here and now
Awaken and make them real
There was a time when you held in your heart
The most magnificent of dreams
A time when life seemed to carry
Endless promises and possibilities
Those dreams are still with you
Awaken and bring them to life
What you long for
Is longing for you
What you dream of
Is what you are meant to create
The doubts you have exist only in your mind
The anxieties that seem so burdensome are of your own making
Now is the moment to awaken,
and allow those doubts to melt away
Awaken, and dive deeply into the beauty of this moment
Allow your spirit to fully experience the richness of it all
Awaken
Allow peace to fill you completely
Let it touch your deepest longings
Let it bring those longings to life
Your most treasured possibilities are real,
If you will simply let them live through you
Awaken to this moment, and life begins anew
Reach inside, and allow
your most treasured
dreams to awaken with you
Into a bright and shining new day
Remind yourself again and again
Of how beautiful life can be
Remind yourself again and again
That you can make it so
Awaken
Step boldly and lovingly forward
Into this day
You've already come
So very far
You're stronger, more experienced
and more determined than ever
To fulfill those longings
That tell you who you are
Now is your moment to create real meaning
Now is your moment to awaken
And to truly and fully live
by Ralph S. Marston, Jr.
In your life
A new day is dawning
Awaken and touch the beauty
Wherever you've come from
Whatever you've been
New possibilities beckon
Right here and now
Awaken and make them real
There was a time when you held in your heart
The most magnificent of dreams
A time when life seemed to carry
Endless promises and possibilities
Those dreams are still with you
Awaken and bring them to life
What you long for
Is longing for you
What you dream of
Is what you are meant to create
The doubts you have exist only in your mind
The anxieties that seem so burdensome are of your own making
Now is the moment to awaken,
and allow those doubts to melt away
Awaken, and dive deeply into the beauty of this moment
Allow your spirit to fully experience the richness of it all
Awaken
Allow peace to fill you completely
Let it touch your deepest longings
Let it bring those longings to life
Your most treasured possibilities are real,
If you will simply let them live through you
Awaken to this moment, and life begins anew
Reach inside, and allow
your most treasured
dreams to awaken with you
Into a bright and shining new day
Remind yourself again and again
Of how beautiful life can be
Remind yourself again and again
That you can make it so
Awaken
Step boldly and lovingly forward
Into this day
You've already come
So very far
You're stronger, more experienced
and more determined than ever
To fulfill those longings
That tell you who you are
Now is your moment to create real meaning
Now is your moment to awaken
And to truly and fully live
Jun 29, 2008
Resisting Discouragement
Resisting Discouragement
by Rick Warren
*** *** *** ***
So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
*** *** *** ***
There are many things that work to keep us from completing our life-missions. Over the years, I’ve debated whether the worst enemy is procrastination or discouragement. If Satan can’t get us to put off our life missions, then he’ll try to get us to quit altogether.
The apostle Paul teaches that we need to resist discouragement: “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up …” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).
Do you ever get tired of doing what’s right? I think we all do. Sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing.
When we’re discouraged, we become ineffective. When we’re discouraged, we work against our own faith.
When I’m discouraged, I’m saying, “It can’t be done.” That’s the exact opposite of saying, “I know God can do it because he said ….”
Ask yourself these questions:
· How do I handle failure?
· When things don’t go my way, do I get grumpy?
· When things don’t go my way, do I get frustrated?
· When things don’t go my way, do I start complaining?
· Do I finish what I start?
· How would I rate on persistence?
If you’re discouraged, don’t give up without a fight. Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy.
When an artist starts to create a sculpture, he has to keep chipping away. He doesn’t hit the chisel with the hammer once, and suddenly all the excess stone falls away revealing a beautiful masterpiece. He keeps hitting it and hitting it, chipping away at the stone.
And that’s true of life, too: Nothing really worthwhile ever comes easy in life. You keep hitting it and going after it, and little-by-little your life becomes a masterpiece of God’s grace.
The fact is, great people are really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. Great people don’t know how to quit.
by Rick Warren
*** *** *** ***
So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
*** *** *** ***
There are many things that work to keep us from completing our life-missions. Over the years, I’ve debated whether the worst enemy is procrastination or discouragement. If Satan can’t get us to put off our life missions, then he’ll try to get us to quit altogether.
The apostle Paul teaches that we need to resist discouragement: “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up …” (Galatians 6:9 NLT).
Do you ever get tired of doing what’s right? I think we all do. Sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing.
When we’re discouraged, we become ineffective. When we’re discouraged, we work against our own faith.
When I’m discouraged, I’m saying, “It can’t be done.” That’s the exact opposite of saying, “I know God can do it because he said ….”
Ask yourself these questions:
· How do I handle failure?
· When things don’t go my way, do I get grumpy?
· When things don’t go my way, do I get frustrated?
· When things don’t go my way, do I start complaining?
· Do I finish what I start?
· How would I rate on persistence?
If you’re discouraged, don’t give up without a fight. Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy.
When an artist starts to create a sculpture, he has to keep chipping away. He doesn’t hit the chisel with the hammer once, and suddenly all the excess stone falls away revealing a beautiful masterpiece. He keeps hitting it and hitting it, chipping away at the stone.
And that’s true of life, too: Nothing really worthwhile ever comes easy in life. You keep hitting it and going after it, and little-by-little your life becomes a masterpiece of God’s grace.
The fact is, great people are really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. Great people don’t know how to quit.
Jun 27, 2008
Real Liberation
I had a remarkable conversation with a woman about physical limitations. Nancy was a sufferer of M.S. She could no longer walk and spent her waking hours in a wheelchair.
"I'm not 'confined' to the wheelchair," she insisted one day. "It doesn't confine me. It sets me free."
I had never thought of it that way. And I have never referred to someone in a wheelchair since as being "confined."
She asked me, "Do you want to know my reason for living?" It seemed like an abrupt change of subject, but I went with it.
"What is it?"
"To liberate people. To set them free."
She must have studied my face and figured I needed more help. "It's like me...before I got my wheelchair, I had trouble getting around," she explained. "Now I can go places. But other people may be trapped in different ways. So however I can free people, I want to do it."
"People speak of being 'shut in,'" she continued. "People who have difficulty leaving a room or a house or a bed are not 'shut in.' They're 'shut out' -- shut out of activities and shut out of people's lives. So I try to help people find some freedom, however I can."
I wonder how she'd handle my limitations, though. I can get around all right, but I hold myself back by my thinking. I say, "We'll never do that!" or "I just don't believe that is possible" and later find that somebody proved me wrong. It's my beliefs and attitudes that cause some of my biggest problems. They are as limiting to me as Nancy's
disease is to her.
"Almost everybody walks around with a vast burden of imaginary limitations inside his head," says author J. H. Brennan. "While the burden remains, personal success is as difficult to achieve as the conquest of Everest with a sack of rocks tied to your back."
It IS a burden, isn't it? Like a sack of rocks. Some people carry the burden that they will never be able to pursue a passion or achieve a cherished dream. And some tote around the idea that other people can experience good things of life, or simply be happy, but they never will. Our thinking itself can be as much a burden as climbing a mountain with a sack of rocks tied to our backs.
When I feel "confined" by my thinking, I sometimes ponder these words from Darwin P. Kingsley, past president of New York Life Insurance Company:
"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind."
Now THAT sets me free! Free to live. Free to risk. Free to move forward. Free to be...me.
It's real liberation.
-- Steve Goodier
"I'm not 'confined' to the wheelchair," she insisted one day. "It doesn't confine me. It sets me free."
I had never thought of it that way. And I have never referred to someone in a wheelchair since as being "confined."
She asked me, "Do you want to know my reason for living?" It seemed like an abrupt change of subject, but I went with it.
"What is it?"
"To liberate people. To set them free."
She must have studied my face and figured I needed more help. "It's like me...before I got my wheelchair, I had trouble getting around," she explained. "Now I can go places. But other people may be trapped in different ways. So however I can free people, I want to do it."
"People speak of being 'shut in,'" she continued. "People who have difficulty leaving a room or a house or a bed are not 'shut in.' They're 'shut out' -- shut out of activities and shut out of people's lives. So I try to help people find some freedom, however I can."
I wonder how she'd handle my limitations, though. I can get around all right, but I hold myself back by my thinking. I say, "We'll never do that!" or "I just don't believe that is possible" and later find that somebody proved me wrong. It's my beliefs and attitudes that cause some of my biggest problems. They are as limiting to me as Nancy's
disease is to her.
"Almost everybody walks around with a vast burden of imaginary limitations inside his head," says author J. H. Brennan. "While the burden remains, personal success is as difficult to achieve as the conquest of Everest with a sack of rocks tied to your back."
It IS a burden, isn't it? Like a sack of rocks. Some people carry the burden that they will never be able to pursue a passion or achieve a cherished dream. And some tote around the idea that other people can experience good things of life, or simply be happy, but they never will. Our thinking itself can be as much a burden as climbing a mountain with a sack of rocks tied to our backs.
When I feel "confined" by my thinking, I sometimes ponder these words from Darwin P. Kingsley, past president of New York Life Insurance Company:
"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind."
Now THAT sets me free! Free to live. Free to risk. Free to move forward. Free to be...me.
It's real liberation.
-- Steve Goodier
Jun 7, 2008
Ten Other Commandments to Live By
1. You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
2. You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
3. You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.
4. You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
5. You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
6. You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.
7. You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now.
8. You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.
9. You shall not become bogged down by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
10. You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
~ Author Unknown
2. You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
3. You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.
4. You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
5. You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
6. You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.
7. You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now.
8. You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.
9. You shall not become bogged down by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
10. You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
~ Author Unknown
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